Mentoring!!

Well I've been watching Beauty and the Best avidly, and in the spirit of the divine Janice D I feel it's time that I passed on some of the knowledge wot I have gained in my life to you lot wot are clearly in need of my wisdom. So here we go with;

"Lippy's Top Ten Tips For Life."

1. Buy your cashmere from Tesco's - this so that when your husband or cleaner inevitably puts your favourite sweater through a boil wash it won't be necessary for you to kill them.

2. Keep your tounge in your cheek at all times - not only does this preserve a healthy outlook on life but it stops you shoving your tounge down the throats of unsuitable people.

3. Earn your own money - more misery is caused by people who won't or can't or are waiting in the hope of someone else's money than almost anything else. And if you have 3 months salary in a high interest account you can tell the boss to "Fuck Off" whenever you like, which is marvelous!

4. Treat Honesty with the Respect it Deserves - keep it for court rooms, most other times it's not strictly necessary. A bit of tact and kindness may be less holy but it makes the world spin on it's axis a lot smoother.

5. Only have friends that you really like - you can't hide this trait and it may make for you missing a few social climbing parties but it has two huge advantages, (1) you never have to spend an evening with people that you don't like unless you are getting paid for it and (2) your friends who you really like are truly flattered by this and keep you close and pampered.


6. Know how to Look After Yourself - If you can look after yourself other people look after you better than they otherwise would. If you are cooking for a good cook you make them your best meal don't you?

7. Try All the New Stuff ! - OK not stuff but experiences, travel, jobs, careers - keep moving then they may not catch up with you!

8. Small Cheap Cars = not crying when a pissed off opponent keys it in the court car park. ( a really good mate of mine drives a Ferarri, the security system that the insurance company insisted on for his garage cost more than the car)

9.Everyone knows something useful - although you may spend a long time wondering what it is.

10. The only thing that actually works for split cuticles is cracked heel balm.


I never said it was wise or useful, but there it is!

L xxxxx