Dog Days

The weather (despite childish protestations in the newspapers) is actually lovely, it's sunny and warm in the mornings and it rains in the afternoon. As a result everywhere is green and not too dusty, what's not to love?

My house is covered on one side in Virginia Creeper, it's a constant battle to stop it colonising the roof space, but in addition to turning a stunning red colour in the autumn, just now it is alive with bees, the whole of the wall seems to be buzzing as you walk past, a bit unnerving I grant you.

Two days ago I found out that back in February I made a mistake on a case, I am waiting to hear from counsel whether that mistake is fatal or salvagable. I have felt sick and woken up sweating at 4am for two days now....I can't do any more, I can't change what's happened. I just wish that after all this time I was better at this job and mistakes didn't happen at all any more. I bet if I look back in this blog there are a number of posts where this has happened, so clearly I have survived before....not sure why that doesn't particularly help.

Emotional Wreck

My Dad is ill in hospital, he has an unexplained obstruction in his gut that we are all secretly terrified is a tumour.


He had a small stroke about a month ago and we had hoped he was getting better. But over the weekend he took a turn for the very much worse.

We all know , or think we know that everybody dies, so why are we shocked when it's someone we know and love? The shock is absolutley profound and over whelming.

Work is a struggle, I don't want to be here and I would really rather all my client's fucked off and sorted it out for themselves. But then I would have no money and something else to worry about.