Listening to/reading/watching

  • Spooks, Heroes and Little Dorrit
  • The Ascent of Money
  • Fountains of Wayne, Dusty Springfield, Nickleback, Talking Heads

Cluster Map

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

10 things I've never done

As I'm a bit short on inspiration. Things I've never done;

1. Kissed a girl ( or any other sort of girl on girl sexual activity)
2. Been arrested
3. Taken illegal drugs
4. Been in a fight
5. Been in a car accident
6. Been to Disneyland (or world or any variety of Disney theme park)
7. Fitted into a pair of size 8 jeans ( at least once my age was in double figures!)
8. Been in a rock band
9. Done a parachute jump
10. Drunk Tequila

I realise that makes me sound terminally boring, so a few things I have done;

1. Eaten kangaroo ( and shot it first)
2. Milked cows for a living
3. Surfed on beaches with no Shark nets
4. Been on a night safari in Natal
5. Dived over coral reefs in the South China Sea
6. Spent the night in a bothy on Rannock Moor
7. Sailed a yacht across the channel over night
8. Climbed the Pyramid at Chichen Itza (back when you still could and the pyramids of the Sun & Moon)
9. Run down 5th Avenue to get the last elevator to the top of the Empire State building last thing at night. Way better at night........
10. Applied to be a judge ( and got knocked back!)
11. Taken too many degrees!

Still sound like a boring fucker!

Monday, July 28, 2008

I should have done this ages ago

It only takes 6 weeks to break a habit apparently.

So, it a bit of a last ditch attempt to aviod any more surgery, I am doing what I should have done 12 months ago and cutting wheat, dairy , sugar and caffiene out of my diet completely.

I already eat plenty of fresh fruit and veg and red meat only a couple of times a week so those things aren't a big problem. The meat I eat is organic so no hormone issues there.

However for a "venti latte with two shots and cinnamon syrup" junkie like myself this is horrible. Thank goodness it's really hot so that I'm not missing my mid day coffee but mornings are a bit rough.

Still if Ronnie Wood can do his de-tox without keeling over or giving in I can do mine! least I can still have a couple of white wines on a weekend!

Friday, July 25, 2008

Other people's lives

Do you ever long to know what it is like to be someone else or is it just me? Judging by the proliferation of celeb magazines and websites it clearly isn't just me, but I'm not just fascinated by famous people.

I find myself on the train into Liverpool St, looking at the windows of all the flats in Bethnal Green and thinking "what do they all do?"

At school I was fascinated by a girl at school,we will call her Tracy, who lived in a big glass sixties "pad" complete with white shag pile carpets and a swimming pool, her Mum drove a lotus and looked quite a lot like Farah Fawcett Majors. I didn't actually like Tracy that much and we were never particular friends, but I just wanted to know what her life felt like, mostly because it was so different from mine.

Currently I have the same fascination for Alice who keeps her horse at the same livery as mine, and I suspect is how Katie Price would be if she had never been Jordan - i.e normal chest size, really good rider (pushing at the boundaries of international standard), extremely pretty and married with a couple of kids. Also very good company. I like her a lot more than I liked Tracy!

That's part of the fascination of blogs isn't it? The insight into other people's lives, or at least how other people perceive their lives to be - which may be something quite different.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Reverse Phsychology?

Work is still a bit quiet, ticking over , but hardly busy.

So, as yesterday was the hottest of the year so far, I packed up the kids and the dog and headed for the big sands on the north Norfolk coast. And I have to say it was lovely, blue sky, blue sea and soft sand. We picniced and I did fully intend to swim in the sea, but between walking the dog up the beach and reading Alex James "A Bit of A Blur" I never got around to it.

I had left a message on the office voicemail to say I could be contacted on my mobile phone ...I lied, Orange mobile network coverage in Cromer was patchy to say the very least. This had the heartening result that after a very relaxing day I then felt loved and wanted (in the professional sense) due to a barrage of voicemails and incensed email messages! Hurrah!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

It is all in the timing.

I am a morning person, and whilst in it's own way this is all well and good, it means that I don't really do evenings. At least I don't do them well. It's as much as I can do to eat my dinner, drink a couple of glasses of wine , read a bit of a book or watch a bit of telly and then pass out on the sofa about 10 o'clock.

Don't misunderstand me I can work of an evening - in fact some of the best legal work gets done when you can tune out a few of the multitudinous channels in your brain and just focus on one. But proper evening activities - classes, going to the pub, exercising in an evening are all a bit...well beyond me really.

My mother is a complete night owl and has always found the fact of my early bedtimes a matter of intense annoyance. In fact when I was a child she used to come to my room and wake me up and make me do things - like tidy up and bake cakes. Apart from the fact that this was clearly slightly insane behaviour it also made me even more intransigent in my view that evenings were for sleeping.

Later on they became for sleeping and sex...obviously. In fact once I had found someone that I could have sex with at home of an evening , without all the hassle of going to parties and copping off, I pretty much stopped going to parties. Which is a bit sad as I was only 24 at the time. But frankly I really hadn't been much good at parties, hardly the life and soul, usually I was either trying to cop off or had given up and was asleep under a pile of coats in the corner.

I do like dancing though, but it's better in the afternoon. And I like talking to people..and I can be quite chatty and charming ...but I am way WAY better company at lunch than at dinner, and at breakfast when no one else wants to talk at all...I'm a wow.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Mamma Mia

Towards the end of the movie, my daughter whispered "I'm really glad Daddy isn't here, he'd have been grumbling This is drivel! all the way through the film!

He would.

But we loved it - it was sunny shiny happy and had lots of Abba songs, and Meryl Streep looking fab and having the option of getting off with a selection of (only slightly) younger blokes - hurrah!

It also gave rise to a phenomenon not seen since lines of kids were practising the Saturday Night Fever dance routines on my Mum's lawn in 1976. The trying to copy the movie ...only this time it involved me jumping on the trampoline trying to do the "Streep Splits" to Dancing Queen. I am happy to say that I did manage it at least twice and that nobody had to call an ambulance!

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Chav Central!

Took the day off and went to Alton Towers with the fam yesterday. And enjoyed the very fast roller coaster, (Rita Queen of Speed) but this thing "Air"

Made me feel so sick and giddy that I couldn't walk, eat or see straight for the rest of the day - yuk!

I shouldn't be rude about the Towers, having grown up spitting distance from them, but if you want to feel thin and well dressed in comparison to everyone else who is there it's the place to go! Lots of fat people in tracksuits eating burgers and drinking bottomless cups of coke.

Anyway - the kids all enjoyed it, and my sis had got free tickets for us, so it didn't cost £93 per family as it should have done. So guilt assuaged and job done.

I prefer my adrenaline of the horse riding or sailing variety really. Heights and me are not a good match at the best of times!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Those of a delicate disposition look away now...

This is all going to get a bit medical and yuk so you may want to skip this one and come back tomorrow.

The reason that I only have one kid is because I have severe endometriosis, this means that the lining of my uterus has gone walk about in my pelvis, where it bleeds randomly causing some pretty severe pain. This is not so bad.

However, my endometrium (uterine lining) has also set up shop in my ovaries, where the bleeding doesn't dissipate but causes cysts - think giant blood blister the size of a grapefruit - now these babies hurt like a bastard. And if you've been hanging around here for a while you may remember that last May there was some surgery to try to dispose of them. And while it worked for a little while there, - THEY'RE BACK!

And it hurts to the point where I have to take two giant co-codamol tablets before I can get out of bed in the morning , this is boring.

The only option is more surgery - more radical this time, as in take an ovary out. Yes I know you can't see it and so it doesn't seem real, but it's mine all the same. And having gone through all of this a year ago, I don't feel like doing it all again - the oxygen tube up your nose is SO not a good look when friends come to visit.

I feel bad boring you with all this again - you were bored with it last time. I like my girl parts, even if they don't like me and I don't want to have them or any bit of them removed. I suspect I will wimp out yet again and go for the "minimum surgery " option. And face the fact that I may have to go through all of this again , again.

They try to make me have a hysterectomy I say NO NO NO!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008


The trouble with pets; husbands, children, horses, that they are so demanding! Not only do you have to work to make the money to pay for them, but then you have to feed them, wash them, exercise them and clean their houses out. It's relentless! And then after you've done all that - you're expected to look after yourself! Shine up the house and still have neat painted toe nails and non- hairy armpits!!!

Still have managed to tear myself away from the never ending chorse to do a few other things. So far this week;

Work is still quiet - a few new enquiries so as this is the second time around with the "bumpy work" scenario I shall try to be cooler about it.

I got to the beach! - yay! And then it went cloudy - boo! But now that I live only an hour from the coast. I can go again, whenever I like all summer! I haven't lived here for a year yet so all of this is still a novelty that I am getting used to.

Came 4th in dressage competition - bit dissapointing but we had gone up a level from "preliminary" to "novice" so it wasn't too bad, AND it was the first time we had done an outdoor competition and poor horse was a bit spooked by the white boards that form the boundary of the arena. She tried really hard though bless her.

Going to Alton Towers on Friday - thanks to little sis coming up with free tickets. It's bound to pour with rain but who cares.

C'est tout!

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Weight loss

Well team, I may have finally cracked this one.

The secret is - work out every day, ride and swim and walk the dog and in an ideal world go to the gym and do yoga. AND only eat the same amount of food as the 22 year old French lodger.
Works a treat - lost 5lbs in a fortnight and she is here for 3 months! - hurrah! Tell you what though I am a bit pooped with all the exercise, not sure I am getting any fitter just more knackered.

It is summer - you can tell, because between the torrential rain and the thunder storms the sun does actually come out, and I have a shocking "farmer's tan" from riding in a v-neck t-shirt, red neck, red arms and terrifyingly white everywhere else! ewww!

Still , I seem to be going to parties and barbeques, listening to dodgy folk groups, having friends in camper vans staying on the drive and saying endlessly "I'd like to go to the beach" without ever actually getting there. Lets hope for progress in this area soon!

Saturday, July 12, 2008


It is always one of those clients who reject my advice, and insist that a case follows their agenda.
(which one of us went to law school Mr Client? - hey that would be me. And the Legal 500 entry, oh what a shocker that's me again!)

It's that client who then sacks me and complains that the costs in the case spiralled and no progress was made. Has it not crossed your mind numb nuts that if you had followed the advice that you paid for things would have turned out differently?

Obviously not! - so hey, I will just send you a final bill and make myself feel every such a lot better!

Wednesday, July 09, 2008


We want to go to the coast and have a morning's mackrel fishing hard can it be?

Well according to the internet pretty bloody difficult, looks like there is one boat, it's a bit of a serious charter and it's booked for 8 hour trips every day until September. There has got to be something a bit less hard core than that hasn't there?

I will ring tourist disinformation this morning and see if they know anything. Otherwise may just have to content myself with a swim in the north sea! Boo!

In the spirit of "holiday reading" I bought "The Beautiful Game - a WAG's tale" . I knew that it would be bad, but good God it was appalling! With the life of the heroine being SO boring why did the author chose to go into lots of detail about the endless beauty treatments and not give any detail at all about the sex, "we shagged lots" - well don't we all love, but I've paid £6.99 and I want to know a bit more than that!

Well.............. Actually I didn't pay £6.99, this year I've bought all my law books from Waterstones and collected the points on my Waterstones loyalty card. As my annual law book spend is about £2k I've got lots of points and lots of lovely free books! Thank goodness this was one of them.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Holidaying at home!

We took a family decision to go feral in East Anglia rather than taking a break abroad this summer - maybe we will go away in the autumn, maybe we will change our minds and head for Spain at the weekend? Who knows!

For now the TB and the AB are both knackered and mooning around the house like zombies.

I'm trying to finish off some of those "nagging boring" jobs that have been hanging around for ages, writing articles for newsletters, finishing instructions to counsel for learned associations who aren't paying anything - all that demotivating stuff that you have to do to try to make sure that the next paying job does turn up. I am off to a business women's networking lunch tomorrow for the same reason.

If the sun does come out then I'll take the dog for a walk and may even go for a bike ride!

Just you watch, the sun will come out and the office telephone will start ringing!

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Older, wiser and more beautiful? - I wish!

Today is my birthday, I am 46 years old, not an age you dream about being but what the heck I'm fit, solvent and pretty much living the life of Riley so who cares?!

I had a lovely day today; - flowers, cards, presents, 14 people round for lunch , which admittedly I cooked but friends brought pavolva and wine and stuff so it was really nice. And I'm too old to think that "nice" is a bad word, it's a good word, and it was a good day. The adults drank wine and Pimms and the kids had a water fight in the garden. I overcatered massivley so we have a freezer full of food and a beer fridge full of drink. A beer fridge in the garage is one of the useful things that comes around with age, that and a really good king-sized bed.

The technology gives a whole new dimension to birthdays too - I've had cards, texts, facebook messages and emails ! Yay.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Hedwig lives down our way.

This morning after I crossed the river I could see a large white bird, it's wings flapped can't be..........I got closer, hoping that the dog (who being a Jack Russell has no interest in anything he can't eat, fight or shag), wouldn't scare it off. But the bird was too busy hunting.

And I was right, a large white snowy owl was hunting in the water meadow at eight o'clock this morning. It looked well, magical.

Insomniac I wonder or just hungry? Or after the adder that the dog tried to pick a fight with yesterday morning?

Anyway - thank you Universe, white owl against bright blue cloudless sky , what a sight to have seen!

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Your Actual Fun!

I actually went out at the weekend - twice in two days, good grief!

Friday was a long lawyer lunch in a west end restaurant, so long in fact that when we finally got turfed out at 4pm we went around the corner to the Dover St Wine Bar and carried on until closing. The thing is with the whole "responsible professional" gig is that you can't go out and get mortal unless it's with really old mates or with other lawyers. Other lawyers is the safer option as you know that none of them are going to grass you up to anyone else. So yes, I drank solidly for eight hours and felt fine - which probably says very bad things about my liver.

On Sat morning I was up early and off to Liberty's sale, having made the effort to be there at 9.30 am you would have thought I would have bought something, but now. Even hungover £175 for a pair of jeans didn't seem like a good plan. The mate I went with though spent £600 in two hours, her old man is never going to let her go out with me anywhere, ever again.

Then on Saturday night I went to a ball, which was lovely, large country house , big tent, nice food, lots more wine, three rock bands (including the most amazing Motown Tribute group ever!), a trad jazz band, a string quartet and a disco (different rooms obviously) - I listened to them all, and ended up bopping away to northern soul in the disco tent at 1 in the morning. Up at 8 again to collect the AB ...and then at 11 the French exchange student arrived. The most impressive aspect of the whole weekend was that I managed to speak French!!! - didn't do a fat lot of work on Monday however.

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A blog about being middle aged, in England in 2013