The truth the whole truth ..

Occasionally and just for fun you get a witness on the stand who couldn't, to use a cliche, lie straight in bed.

They are stupidly, very definatley certain about facts that don't matter and which are absolutley clearly provable lies.

For example - "So you gave up work after 30 years did you?"
"Yes"

"And you have said that in both of your statements?"
"Yes I loved that job and I worked there 30 years."

"Well that's just not true is it?"
"Yes it is , I worked there 30 years."

"No it isn't Mr X because you didn't start work when you were 3!"