I've always risen up with proper feminist fury to the phrase "she needs a good seeing to", but bloody hell, since my secretary split up with her boyfriend and is hence no longer getting the regular supply she has become impossible. Moody, mardy, bitchy and clearly in dire need of shagging all ways round into next Tuesday.
So my options are clear - I can either find her a willing bloke with a stiff willy or I can just cut through the crap and stab her to death with the nearest pair of scissors.
If I find any more little love notes on my filing tray saying "single sheets of paper only please no files" then the scissors may just slide into my hand and from thence into her jugular of their own accord.
So gents if any of you feel you could oblige her (39, blonde, looks like Jackie out of Dr Who) then I will pass it on and hopefully save myself from murder, life imprisionment and fighting off bull dykes in the shower block.
Followers
Listening to/reading/watching
- Spooks, Heroes and Little Dorrit
- The Ascent of Money
- Fountains of Wayne, Dusty Springfield, Nickleback, Talking Heads
Cluster Map
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
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6 comments:
I suggest an early Christmas present of a Rampant Rabbit.
Or you could borrow my barrel and pop her in that & leave it in the high street (don't forget it or she may drown).
I'll fix her up with "That pen stays at THIS desk and this desk ONLY" guy here in Canada. They deserve each other.
Frobi face is right. Not only would it help her demenour, it's jolly usefull for loosening up the bottle of ketchup at lunch time.
I was opting for the battery operated stop gap , until a new man comes along or 'love eggs' they sound like fun
I'm not sure about electronic alternatives as I'm pretty sure that pheromonal and chemical factors play a part in the "calming" effect.
Might just make the trainee sell her on ebay! .....not for sex, just you know, sell her to another law firm.
HILarious... good luck with that.
Thanks for your comment, I have heard of the series you mentioned but I don't think its available in the US just yet.
xo
Alice
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