Mamma Mia

Towards the end of the movie, my daughter whispered "I'm really glad Daddy isn't here, he'd have been grumbling This is drivel! all the way through the film!

He would.

But we loved it - it was sunny shiny happy and had lots of Abba songs, and Meryl Streep looking fab and having the option of getting off with a selection of (only slightly) younger blokes - hurrah!

It also gave rise to a phenomenon not seen since lines of kids were practising the Saturday Night Fever dance routines on my Mum's lawn in 1976. The trying to copy the movie ...only this time it involved me jumping on the trampoline trying to do the "Streep Splits" to Dancing Queen. I am happy to say that I did manage it at least twice and that nobody had to call an ambulance!

Chav Central!

Took the day off and went to Alton Towers with the fam yesterday. And enjoyed the very fast roller coaster, (Rita Queen of Speed) but this thing "Air"

Made me feel so sick and giddy that I couldn't walk, eat or see straight for the rest of the day - yuk!

I shouldn't be rude about the Towers, having grown up spitting distance from them, but if you want to feel thin and well dressed in comparison to everyone else who is there it's the place to go! Lots of fat people in tracksuits eating burgers and drinking bottomless cups of coke.

Anyway - the kids all enjoyed it, and my sis had got free tickets for us, so it didn't cost £93 per family as it should have done. So guilt assuaged and job done.

I prefer my adrenaline of the horse riding or sailing variety really. Heights and me are not a good match at the best of times!

Those of a delicate disposition look away now...

This is all going to get a bit medical and yuk so you may want to skip this one and come back tomorrow.

The reason that I only have one kid is because I have severe endometriosis, this means that the lining of my uterus has gone walk about in my pelvis, where it bleeds randomly causing some pretty severe pain. This is not so bad.

However, my endometrium (uterine lining) has also set up shop in my ovaries, where the bleeding doesn't dissipate but causes cysts - think giant blood blister the size of a grapefruit - now these babies hurt like a bastard. And if you've been hanging around here for a while you may remember that last May there was some surgery to try to dispose of them. And while it worked for a little while there, - THEY'RE BACK!

And it hurts to the point where I have to take two giant co-codamol tablets before I can get out of bed in the morning , this is boring.

The only option is more surgery - more radical this time, as in take an ovary out. Yes I know you can't see it and so it doesn't seem real, but it's mine all the same. And having gone through all of this a year ago, I don't feel like doing it all again - the oxygen tube up your nose is SO not a good look when friends come to visit.

I feel bad boring you with all this again - you were bored with it last time. I like my girl parts, even if they don't like me and I don't want to have them or any bit of them removed. I suspect I will wimp out yet again and go for the "minimum surgery " option. And face the fact that I may have to go through all of this again , again.

They try to make me have a hysterectomy I say NO NO NO!

Relentless

The trouble with pets; husbands, children, horses, dogs...is that they are so demanding! Not only do you have to work to make the money to pay for them, but then you have to feed them, wash them, exercise them and clean their houses out. It's relentless! And then after you've done all that - you're expected to look after yourself! Shine up the house and still have neat painted toe nails and non- hairy armpits!!!

Still have managed to tear myself away from the never ending chorse to do a few other things. So far this week;

Work is still quiet - a few new enquiries so as this is the second time around with the "bumpy work" scenario I shall try to be cooler about it.

I got to the beach! - yay! And then it went cloudy - boo! But now that I live only an hour from the coast. I can go again, whenever I like all summer! I haven't lived here for a year yet so all of this is still a novelty that I am getting used to.

Came 4th in dressage competition - bit dissapointing but we had gone up a level from "preliminary" to "novice" so it wasn't too bad, AND it was the first time we had done an outdoor competition and poor horse was a bit spooked by the white boards that form the boundary of the arena. She tried really hard though bless her.

Going to Alton Towers on Friday - thanks to little sis coming up with free tickets. It's bound to pour with rain but who cares.

C'est tout!

Weight loss

Well team, I may have finally cracked this one.

The secret is - work out every day, ride and swim and walk the dog and in an ideal world go to the gym and do yoga. AND only eat the same amount of food as the 22 year old French lodger.
Works a treat - lost 5lbs in a fortnight and she is here for 3 months! - hurrah! Tell you what though I am a bit pooped with all the exercise, not sure I am getting any fitter just more knackered.

It is summer - you can tell, because between the torrential rain and the thunder storms the sun does actually come out, and I have a shocking "farmer's tan" from riding in a v-neck t-shirt, red neck, red arms and terrifyingly white everywhere else! ewww!

Still , I seem to be going to parties and barbeques, listening to dodgy folk groups, having friends in camper vans staying on the drive and saying endlessly "I'd like to go to the beach" without ever actually getting there. Lets hope for progress in this area soon!

Observation

It is always one of those clients who reject my advice, and insist that a case follows their agenda.
(which one of us went to law school Mr Client? - hey that would be me. And the Legal 500 entry, oh what a shocker that's me again!)

It's that client who then sacks me and complains that the costs in the case spiralled and no progress was made. Has it not crossed your mind numb nuts that if you had followed the advice that you paid for things would have turned out differently?

Obviously not! - so hey, I will just send you a final bill and make myself feel every such a lot better!

Fishing

We want to go to the coast and have a morning's mackrel fishing ...how hard can it be?

Well according to the internet pretty bloody difficult, looks like there is one boat, it's a bit of a serious charter and it's booked for 8 hour trips every day until September. There has got to be something a bit less hard core than that hasn't there?

I will ring tourist disinformation this morning and see if they know anything. Otherwise may just have to content myself with a swim in the north sea! Boo!

In the spirit of "holiday reading" I bought "The Beautiful Game - a WAG's tale" . I knew that it would be bad, but good God it was appalling! With the life of the heroine being SO boring why did the author chose to go into lots of detail about the endless beauty treatments and not give any detail at all about the sex, "we shagged lots" - well don't we all love, but I've paid £6.99 and I want to know a bit more than that!

Well.............. Actually I didn't pay £6.99, this year I've bought all my law books from Waterstones and collected the points on my Waterstones loyalty card. As my annual law book spend is about £2k I've got lots of points and lots of lovely free books! Thank goodness this was one of them.

Holidaying at home!

We took a family decision to go feral in East Anglia rather than taking a break abroad this summer - maybe we will go away in the autumn, maybe we will change our minds and head for Spain at the weekend? Who knows!

For now the TB and the AB are both knackered and mooning around the house like zombies.

I'm trying to finish off some of those "nagging boring" jobs that have been hanging around for ages, writing articles for newsletters, finishing instructions to counsel for learned associations who aren't paying anything - all that demotivating stuff that you have to do to try to make sure that the next paying job does turn up. I am off to a business women's networking lunch tomorrow for the same reason.

If the sun does come out then I'll take the dog for a walk and may even go for a bike ride!

Just you watch, the sun will come out and the office telephone will start ringing!

Older, wiser and more beautiful? - I wish!

Today is my birthday, I am 46 years old, not an age you dream about being but what the heck I'm fit, solvent and pretty much living the life of Riley so who cares?!

I had a lovely day today; - flowers, cards, presents, 14 people round for lunch , which admittedly I cooked but friends brought pavolva and wine and stuff so it was really nice. And I'm too old to think that "nice" is a bad word, it's a good word, and it was a good day. The adults drank wine and Pimms and the kids had a water fight in the garden. I overcatered massivley so we have a freezer full of food and a beer fridge full of drink. A beer fridge in the garage is one of the useful things that comes around with age, that and a really good king-sized bed.

The technology gives a whole new dimension to birthdays too - I've had cards, texts, facebook messages and emails ! Yay.

Hedwig lives down our way.

This morning after I crossed the river I could see a large white bird, it's wings flapped slowly...it can't be..........I got closer, hoping that the dog (who being a Jack Russell has no interest in anything he can't eat, fight or shag), wouldn't scare it off. But the bird was too busy hunting.

And I was right, a large white snowy owl was hunting in the water meadow at eight o'clock this morning. It looked well, magical.

Insomniac I wonder or just hungry? Or after the adder that the dog tried to pick a fight with yesterday morning?

Anyway - thank you Universe, white owl against bright blue cloudless sky , what a sight to have seen!

Your Actual Fun!

I actually went out at the weekend - twice in two days, good grief!

Friday was a long lawyer lunch in a west end restaurant, so long in fact that when we finally got turfed out at 4pm we went around the corner to the Dover St Wine Bar and carried on until closing. The thing is with the whole "responsible professional" gig is that you can't go out and get mortal unless it's with really old mates or with other lawyers. Other lawyers is the safer option as you know that none of them are going to grass you up to anyone else. So yes, I drank solidly for eight hours and felt fine - which probably says very bad things about my liver.

On Sat morning I was up early and off to Liberty's sale, having made the effort to be there at 9.30 am you would have thought I would have bought something, but now. Even hungover £175 for a pair of jeans didn't seem like a good plan. The mate I went with though spent £600 in two hours, her old man is never going to let her go out with me anywhere, ever again.

Then on Saturday night I went to a ball, which was lovely, large country house , big tent, nice food, lots more wine, three rock bands (including the most amazing Motown Tribute group ever!), a trad jazz band, a string quartet and a disco (different rooms obviously) - I listened to them all, and ended up bopping away to northern soul in the disco tent at 1 in the morning. Up at 8 again to collect the AB ...and then at 11 the French exchange student arrived. The most impressive aspect of the whole weekend was that I managed to speak French!!! - didn't do a fat lot of work on Monday however.

Am I A control freak? - I dunno, yeah, probably.

I've been pondering the question of "Am I A Control Freak" for a couple of days.

I'm not sure it's true.

What is true is that I cannot be doing with people who create unnecessary drama out of a straightforward situation - loads of people thrive on doing that. They must be bored, but for heavens sake, get a hobby, buy a dog, don't get your kicks by making other people's lives a misery. Life is genuinely hard enough. Strive to make it simple.

And that is where the potential control freakery comes in - I accept that nothing in life is certain, it is going to throw me a curve ball. Therefore I try to be ready for the shit life is going to throw at me. So that, when the next pile of shit it arrives it will find me clean, sober, reasonably fit, wearing prisitine knickers and knowing where all the invoices are to fill in next year's tax return. I enjoy the illusion that this level of preparation gives me a fighting chance.

Scruffy, Sad Loser

Am I alone in this or is anyone else devleoping a bit of a crush on Rhys Ifans, Sienna Millers recently dumped ex? There has been a lot of drivel in the press on the lines of "she's hot and he's not!" and whilst he may not exactly be pretty, he's pretty sexy, in that long loose limbed don't give a shit sort of way.

So Rhys if you are thinking of a change from equisite 26 year old blondes to *ehem* "older" curly haired redheads, then, walk this way...................................(as this is strictly in my dreams the TB need never know!)

Lying to the Dentist

Do you think that everyone lies to the dentist?

I know I do. Today was the 6 monthly check up and polish, and so of course my consumption of cups of coffee with sugar in any 24 hour period was duly trimmed back from 6 to 2. And my flossing history was similarly upgraded from a truthful "most days when I remember" to a frankly fraudulent "morning and evening your honour, without fail". Still I haven't done too much damage, still got my own teeth, albeit with fillings, and no nasty gum disease. Goody good.

So who else do we routinely lie to?

Traffic wardens; obviously "I was just going to get another ticket to put more time on !"

Husbands; "Of course this isn't a new dress, I've had it ages" (but frankly they ask for that, if their powers of observation are that feeble!)

But no one else really, not Doctors or Accountants - but is that because they can plainly see the truth of the situation for themselves? Hmmmmm

Father's Day Catering

Well, we thought the TB deserved a bit of spoiling for father's day, so went full on with the catering;

Tea in bed with the Sunday Times followed by the full English breakfast - sausage (Newmarket natch) bacon, tomato, egg, beans and toast (home made bread)

Followed by a nice walk with the dog before lunch

Baguette (home made bread) with home baked ham and mustard

A short nap, a swim and then for dinner

Roast Lamb, new potatoes, carrots, green beans, peas, mint sauce (with mint out of the garden)
Lemon meringue pie (made by me from scratch) and cream
Coffee

And he seemed pretty pleased with it all ! (Smugness rules OK!)

Occasional Restaurant Review - Indigo at One Aldwych

How perfect was this meal?

I ordered lime and soda from the bar while I waited for my guest ( lady guest, client it was work - honestly your mind!) and got fresh lime juice with a small dash of sugar syrup and club soda. Beautiful - so beautiful in fact that I will be squeezing fresh limes to have at home. The restaurant is upstairs overlooking the lobby bar so great for nosy people. And the eavesdropping is fabulous - I do know for example that the woman at the next table had just told her husband that she was never going to share a bed with him ever again. If she talks that loudly at night I bet he was quite relieved.

Anyway food - The most fabulous baked bream with new potatoes which had been slightly crushed and mixed with crab meat and green beans. That was it with a glass of rose and it was just fabulous. I may have been ruined for the foreseeable future. Or at least until I save up enough money to go to Indigo again.

Jordon's Glamour

Well Jordan (Katie Price) competed in a preliminary unaffiliated dressage competition at Hickstead last week - and because I am a nosy git I looked up her score - and she got 153 which to be fair to her is pretty good for a first time out. The same score in fact which I got for the same test in an unaffliated dressage back in October.

So, apart from being 15 years older than her and not having £60,000 kicking around to spend on a couple of top flight horses and the kit...I'm have the same chance of competing in the 2012 Olympic dressage as Jordan......................i.e. none!!!

Social Pirana! (yes I know it's Pariah but face it no one wants to hang out with a Pirana!)

Honest, I'm becoming a fucking hermit, I mean really. I have not been out socially for MONTHS.

This is a bit of a toxic combination of the TB's naturally antisocial nature, his habitat of choice being a shed. Although to be fair if you can actually get him to a party, two beers in he turns into the life and soul, and everyone is throwing me evil glances for keeping him locked away in a dungeon. Because that is the reason he gives them for not having been out for months. When the truth is he has been in our sitting room, drinking whisky and saying in a whinny voice "but I'm reaallly tired and I reaallly don't want to go out...."

And lack of funds ...or fear of insufficient funds to pay the tax man. Having had a bit of work recently this fear is now resolving and we are going to a ball in a couple of weeks - which could even be fun...........I'll need a new frock, and shoes................that could be even more fun!

Des Billets

Finally we are agreed. Due to lodger and lack of funds we aren't going to holiday in the summer break -apart from weekends and the coast and stuff.

Instead we are just going to go feral in our home county, swim and catch cray fish in the river, jump on our trampoline,have picnics at the beach , go for bike rides and play with the ponies. The TB even has a yen for a spot of sea fishing out of Aldeborough.

We are also going to go to see Crowded House in the forest, and go to Latitude and I have clearence from the Financial Director (the TB) to book the tickets today - way cool!

Occasional Gastropub Review

The Beehive, Horringer, Suffolk

I had wanted to go here for ages. We went for lunch today, and I came home gutted and consumed with guilt for making the TB spend his money taking me there!
It really isn't a good sign when you struggle to find something you want to eat on the extensive blackboard menu, but I did.
I finally settled on:

Bruschetta with goats cheese, honey and walnuts - which was actually very nice
Veal schnitzel with new potatoes - which didn't actually taste of anything
and
Swiss chocolate ice cream - OK but boring.

So a resounding 5 out of ten. All a bit too pretentious and not yummy enough - when there is nothing you would kill for on the desert menu it's probably a sign to think better of it and go home.

Although really it probably is a sign. Our S, has taken up triathlons. This is not a kind thing to do to your slightly older, slightly fatter but still taller same sex relative. And for me at the minute stamina is a real issue, to the point where it is preventing me doing this I want to do (NOT THAT!) just jumping longer show jumping courses and working on bigger cases. So I looked up a beginners triathlon training regime. JC on a bike! Well OK me on a bike. I think I should have a go, I don't run so we will ignore that bit. Otherwise it prescribes, two swims, one bike ride and two sessions in the gym. I can only ride the horse once this week so it might even be do-able.
I can feel my brain slipping into "but if I only do one swim, one bike ride and one gym session that will still be good" - it will be good but it will be the sipperly slope to nothing again.

I'll let you know how it goes. For now I have to finish the ironing. Oh and to assist the ironing I've rented the DVD's of Weeds - how did I miss it for so long! Shoot me I am a cultural disaster!
On the upside I get to watch it all now.

And so far I love Greek, - got to finish the ironing before episode 2 at 8 on BBC 3.

Laters babes!