Ta- dah!

It's Friday - yay and yipee and stuff.

Not much happening at the weekend, so we can pause for breath a bit before the onslaught which is October....but apart from two trials, filming, giving a public lecture, C's "ladies lunch and pamper party and her birthday" and a massive family party as my cousin is here from Australia, I suppose there is not all that much happening in October either.

Actimel & Prozac

Did you watch Stephen Fry last night? Bloody fantastic I thought.

Although I'm not bi-polar I have suffered from depressive episodes, down to a mix of genetics and overwork. Other people have heart attacks - I shake and can't get out of bed. And the one thing that struck me as so true about all of the amazing people that he spoke to was their desire to ignore it and carry on, and really hating themselves for the depressive attacks. That is almost the worst thing - feeling such a bloody failure and such a fool for feeling that way.

Someone once asked me to describe how depression feels and the closest I can get is "it's like you've been peeled - someone has taken your skin off and so everything hurts too much", a couple of other depressives recognised that feeling too so I can't be far off.

The only thing I've ever regretted saying about it was to a judge who has muttering about "some bloody woman on anti-depressants" to which I of course replied "Well everyone takes them don't they? Actimel and Prozac, breakfast of champions!"

Blues....

it's such a beautiful day and i'm in a really low mood - for no reason. Well the work is going badly, for which read, REALLY BADLY, but that's no reason for a low mood. Enough self indulgent bollocks.

Being dyslexic I'm usually far from picky about spelling and grammar. But I'm trying to read an American text book and it's starting to drive me insane! Fiber - what??? FIBRE thank you very much. Color - now that's just lazy, COLOUR. Arrgggh. I may have to give up and just stop reading, either that or I'll tear the ruddy thing apart with frustration.

Man envy

So Victoria Beckham doesn't think she is as good looking as her husband - well news flash love, no one else thinks you are as good looking as your husband either and no amount of starving yourself and having placcy boobs is going to change that fact! Get over it!!!

I'm not as good looking as the TB either, but I have taken the "So?" attitude to this for many years, which only falters slightly when secretaries drool over the photo of him in my office, and say things like "well your old man's really lush isn't he". Doesn't stop him being a bad tempered git on Monday mornings though, let me tell you!

Steam..

Why is relaxing so exhausting? I finally went and spent the Spa Day voucher I got for my birthday today, so I've been massaged, my wrinkles have been plumped up by an "oxygenating facial" and my nails are tidy. Also went for a swim, and then in the steam room so I'm extremely clean. Anyway - now I'm pooped, or maybe that's from chasing the dog round the garden after he stole my knitting.

Interviewed spiffy new lawyer on Friday, charming, keen , not overly ambitious (ambition makes us hyper ambitious types nervous you know!) well turned out and funny. We want him, oh yes we must definatley do. We just hope he'll be OK...after finishing the interview and wishing him a safe journey back to Wales the TAA (terribly able assistant) and I had only one question "do you think he'll be OK being the only gay in the office?" I think he will, and Rob in the Crime team certainly won't be able to get away with the hideous lime green shirt and yellow tie combo anymore. A gentleman who is good with colours! How fab - maybe the days of orange pin stripes and "he got dressed in the dark!" are drawing to a close at last.

Thursdays

Unlike Arthur Dent who could never quite get the hang of them I've always rather liked Thursdays - a childhood legacy I think, my parents had a chemist's shop and so worked on Saturdays but Thursday was their half day closing. To celebrate the tended to go shopping and buy cream cakes for tea!

What is it with the weather however, why are we having the weather we should have had in August (28c) at the end of September - some weather god somewhere hates school children and is determined to fry them as they try to learn and soak them when they are on holiday.

There is a great organisation around here called "Flicks in the Sticks" - who show movies in village halls, complete with mobile bar, it's ever so civilised, you can even take your knitting!

It's a question of Style

Someone this morning complained about my lack of grammar, vocabulary and the ability to spell. Which made me cross, but then I thought well, this is me and if you want me to do this for you then you either accept my limitations or employ someone more expensive.

But it did remind me of one of my early supervisors who, on reviewing a document that I had prepared said "It's a question of style Lippy, some of us have it and you quite clearly don't." Harsh, but possibly in the ego driven world of the law machine,not quite fair.

3.30pm Monday

I've always thought that if I could just crack half past three on a Monday afternoon then I would be close to enlightenment.

But here it is again and I am just as bored and irritable as I usually am. And feeling horribly justified in thinking "why am I working my arse off when no one else , it seems can be bothered?"

Is it the time - I'm a morning person so my downward spiral has definatley begun?
Is it the day?
Is it just having an unrealistic expectation of myself?


Anyway - in the absence of any better ideas I've bought flowers for the office, lit a scented candle, and I'll just plug myself into the ipod and bat on.....Miles Davis I think.

Use it or Lose it.

Bloody hell it's hard work being middle aged! Staying still requires effort and any attempt at self improvement, well, easy results are no longer an option.

What's brought all this on? Well the TB has been appointed "family fitness trainer" with the job of getting us doing active things. Notwithstanding that AB and I both dance he is still fitter than both of us which is most unfair! So this weekend - 4 mile walk up a hill with the dog Saturday and cycling to the swimming baths and back with an hours swim in the middle this morning.

We've been promised the golf driving range next weekend for a bit of light relief..and luckily for us we also have an ice rink and a dry ski slope in town, so who knows what else we might get up to!

A Quiet Weekend

For once a quiet weekend and not so many jobs to do that it is a mere "turnaround" job - you know the ones, when all you manage to do is change your bed, walk the dog and cut your toenails before it's Monday morning again.

I will - in order not to be shamed by the terrifying number of active people out there at least swim and go for a long walk at some point. And cook - hurrah for weekends and proper cooking, bread, a cake and a roast!

I also have to read some French - my classes start again on Wednesday and needless to say despite all good intentions I have looked at nothing Francais since July! Tap starts on Tuesday and Belly dancing Thursday , so it's all good.

So for now I'm tidying the office and tidying up my script and playing with my new "gear for ipod pocket party" what a wicked little bit of kit!

There will be better less dull, less me me me posts shortly, promise.

Mists and Mellow Fruitfullness.....

Well it's definatley autumn, cobwebs full of sparkly dew on my window frame, big fat red rosehips in the garden, there are so many elderberries the tree is almost falling over and the dog has ticks. Yes it's that parasite time of year again the AB's had headlice already and she's only been back at school a week....so much for expensive private education. Although the electric nit comb is great, and really the only time you get to electrecute living things for fun without being arrested.

I'm still reading JM's novel ready to review it. It's a rattling good yarn, but typically any one else with THAT many ideas would have written three books, JM's only written one - she even manages to work in a high speed chase between two hearses going along the M4. I must post the link to amazon. It's a good fun read for an autumn evening.

I have to say that I do generally feel ready for autumn, its reasonably predictable that there will be loads of fee earning work and classes and we will be a bit short of cash. That much I know, it's always Spring that manages to catch me on the hop!

xx

Comments

Hopefully comments are working now! - although I'm not able to comment on blogs of people in ordinary Blogger for some reason! *sigh" so I am SO NOT ignoring you.

Worry of the day - am I sweating because it's not and humid or is it my age and my hormones??

Fame at Last?

I taught a continuing professional development lecture today - went all right I think. I was particularly stunned when a guy came up after and said

"you don't know me but I'm an admirer, good talk today and I thought the training DVD you did was really useful!"

I am so chuffed it's ridiculous...makes up (almost) for the being knackered, on my own in a hotel room and having a bloody huge pile of work to do. Oh well never mind.

Must go off to pizza express for some sustinence!

Freedom!

I have a day off -which is cool, so I'm heading out in to the garden to read my book in a minute. It's the new CJ Sansom "Soverign" one of a series of legal thrillers set in Henry VIII's time, when it was a lot more dangerous being a lawyer than it is now. I commend them to you if you are in need of a diverting afternoon, very accurate and good on legal history and detail. And of course, written by a lawyer.

My friend JM (she's quite a scary friend actually, the first barrister that I ever instructed) has written a book and I have a copy to review. She is officially one of those "How the hell did she do that?" people. Busy practice, family.....probably just knocked the book off on one quiet Sunday afternoon. I'm afraid that my idea of multi-tasking is sticking the bread machine on while I check my emails!

Oh and I have yoga this afternoon - how indulgent is that, yoga on a Monday afternoon!

Have fun!

Email!

Crap !!! - since when did that appear at the top of your blog page people!

Serves me right, I shall have to now behave absolutley beautifully....oh dear.

My fried Kaz came for supper, she's working in Tesco's on the weekends to pay off a bit of a credit card blunder, so we're doing our bit by feeding her and providing veggies from the garden. Anyway, she tells me that there is a definate fragrence to certain customers, known as "badly cared for batchelor" smell. It's fousty, musty and instantly recognisable apparently.....you have been warned!

Reality check

Child "Get real Mum no one would fancy you!"

Me "I think you'd be surprised"

Child "No really Mum, lets face it you're a bit ugly"

Me "You told me that I wasn't ugly"

Child "I was being NICE ! "

I want my blog back!

There it is, I do, I've tried cold turkey and frankly chaps, it's not working. So whose to know if I get myself a little blogging fix first thing on a Saturday morning?

Just promise me you won't tell OK?


My wanna be actress child did her first open audition last Sunday and didn't get the part. She was clearly gutted but handled it well. I was, I admit, frankly releived, those that were cast had monstrous pushy mothers who were shouting at them to warm up at eight in the morning. And whats more these women were frankly huge and obviously did nothing but ferry their poor kids about frantically projecting their lost ambitions on to them at the same time.....GET OVER IT LOVE!....come to the adult tap class with the rest of us and lose a few pounds.