Bless My Cotton Socks I'm in the News

Along with the rest of the free world I'm glued to Ashes to Ashes. I know it's not as good as Life on Mars, but I didn't actually watch life on Mars because I find John Sim hugely irritating - not his fault, just his face.

But back to Ashes, I'm as sure as I can be that I didn't spend 1981 wandering around with one bra strap hanging out. And cowboy boots...........wasn't it pixie boots? I distinctly remember many pairs of suede pixie boots being in evidence. And yes to skinny jeans, but no to the leather jacket -it was all fake fur round our way, but maybe that was because it was Scotland and the coldest winter on record even the toilet froze up that year. But sadly the dodgy eyeshadow is spot on.

In 1981 my very rich flat mate drove one of these babies, a black Golf Gti, which we all thought was the coolest form of transportation known to man.

I've just been to a marvelous party!

Honestly - what an old bag! So full of flu self pity I forgot to tell you about the parentals Golden Wedding Anniversary party.

It was fabulous. We knew it had begun well when mother phoned the night before; "Sorry darling, can't really talk, 15 of us are going out to dinner!"

We had arranged a lunch party for 50 people at a really nice country house hotel that a friend of ours owns in Shropshire. He did a stunning job, because we had chosen a Friday we had the place to ourselves, with lots of champagne and lovely food. The top table comprised the original top table from 50 years ago, only my uncle ( who was Dad's best man) was missing, poor love died four years ago. But his wife was there and one of the bridesmaids had made the trip from Western Australia.

We had an outstanding "house band" for the day - we couldn't have afforded them normally, but because the sax player is our friend's , husband's brother (yes I know it gets complicated) we got West End jazz musicians at mate rate. They played anything anyone wanted without missing a beat - and get special bonus points for the "South Pacific Medley", South Pacific being the film Dad took Mum to on their first date...sweet!

The Speech wot I wrote went OK.

And the handmade chocolate truffles (made by my cousin with the chocolate factory and normally sold at Fortnum and Mason) went down even better.

Everybody seemed to have a blast - the adults could talk all night (and did) and the kids could run around the garden and climb trees with all the cousins they only see from time to time.

And sis and me were quietly chuffed that we'd organised something that went so well.

THANK YOU NOBODY GIRL

Big thank you NG - I now have a room for next week at the Fox. It sounds divine, and I'll let you know how it works out.

Sorry for the very public thanks but I can't get your email to work or read your blog so this is the best I could do.

Ta a million once again for being such a sweetheart

L xx

Fluey Thursday

Still got flu, if it doesn't miraculously dissapear by tomorrow I am going to miss;

1. TB's work's party - they work on shifts all through Christmas so have a late, late do now. And because it's so late and no one is bored of parties it's usually good fun.

2. My sister's party on Sat, she's 40 but because she is a leap year baby, it's only her 10th REAL birthday - so it has to be a BIG deal.

The dog is sulking at me because he hasn't had a walk in two days (he normally gets a couple of miles a morning between school drop off and starting work, it's such a nice start to the day) and the horse is sulking on radar ( and via the AB) because she is being ridden by someone who makes her do as she is told and doesn't give out undeserved polo mints.

And this flu virus is horrible - its as if it finds every weak spot and every sore joint and aching muscle you've ever had in your life, it gets into them and makes them throb all at once. VILE.

The World is Against ME!

Honestly it is, let's review the evidence;

1, I have the flu, proper boiling hot to freezing cold with bone breaking aches flu - even the Doc says it's flu!

2. I still don't have a VAT number 6 months after applying for one - what is the Revenue playing at? Am terrified this will in some way turn out to be MY FAULT and cost money!!

3. The Hoxton has declined to extend my corporate account because I only stay there 2 days/month - bastards! And after I stayed LOADS when they were starting out. Can't even find me a room for next Wednesday night. This feels a lot like one of your mates who you really like turning round and saying "I don't want to be your friend any more" - very playground and five years old and it still stings!

4. Work still slow. Good job at moment - see point 1.

Nothing to tell...

There is nothing interesting to tell just know. Same old, same old. Losing weight is a long, slow process - I've lost 6lbs in the same time everyone else has lost a stone and a half, and boy is it disheartening.

Family party tomorrow - speech to give, may yet throw up and interesting and well written blog post...stranger things have happened.

Clean Living

It's true, I lead a blameless life in the country. I ride my horse, walk my dog and do my work. My house is very clean and shiny and so am I. I don't smoke, I don't do drugs and as of Ash Wednesday I DON'T DRINK..............this is true, in a shocking development chez Lippy I have given up the booze for Lent.

Now to get my kicks I either have to jump over very high fences or go to the gym and knacker myself out, or have sex with the TB of course, (haven't given that up for Lent.)

Talking of high fences, a horse at the point to point, threw it's rider, left the rest of the field and promptly jumped over a huge fence and on to the road. It broke it's leg on impact, the hobbled three legged to the forecourt of the petrol station. When it arrived it shook off the shattered broken half of it's foreleg leaving a bleeding stump. Fortunatley the vet arrived at that point and shot it, creating much trauma amongst the assembled townies topping up their cars for a nice drive out in the country. And the moral of this story...the person who told you that horses have an inate sense of self preservation was lying. People do, horses don't.

Anyway - the point of this post was to say that after Easter I am clearly going to head down to the Smoke, install myself in the nearest divey bar and make up for lost time. I just need to assemble a few co-conspirators for the occasion.

Hard Lesson

I know I spend to much time on the gossip pages, but don't deny a girl simple pleasures. Anyway, whilst perusing the same, I see that Lily Allen's boyfriend one Ed Simons has now dumped her.

But then, Lily love, if he's 38 , not married and still looking to date 22 year old girls, then chances are he has the emotional range of a concrete slab and if you opened him up the words " I am a selfish cunt" would be running through his middle like "Blackpool" through a stick of rock.

Take your cue from brother Alfie who wants to smack Ed in the head, go for someone younger who will think you are amazing and have this bizarre disire to "take care of you." - it takes a bit of getting used to I'll admit but it's fun.

Families

Families, the TB's and mine, still cause endless rows, hilarity and our most rock solid "it's them or us" moments.

The TB's old man liked a drink, so much so that his liver packed in and he died aged 62.
So I do get a bit nervous when the old "corporate entertaining" round takes the TB out on the beer once to often;

me : "Don't drink too much beer will you. You can't take it."

(Now that was a red rag to a bull)

him: "Whaddya mean I can't take it"

me : "Well, (trying to backpedal and failing) it's a bit of a weakness in your genetic makeup"

him :"Still don't know whadya saying"

me : "Well, you know, your Dad, drink, bit of a problem"

him : "My Dad wasn't an alcoholic, he just liked the taste"