Beta Female

I wear size 14 (UK 14, US 10 - for clarification and additional vanity!) jeans and this, by my own admission makes me a beta female.

There is no getting around it, the law school diploma is no help at all, nor is the current (not too shabby) salary nor the fact that I'm seriously thinking about one of those rather chic new Volvo convertable saloons.

I can ride, shoot, dance, speak two languages with a degeree of fluency and get by tolerably in a third.

But beta, beta all the way and probably a beta minus at that. For this simple reason there are womens clothes shops that I can't go into. Not unless I want a scathing , appraising, up and down look as I walk through the door, and a withering comment of "sorry madame I don't think we have anything that would fit you." And by this one fact, in girl world, I become a second class citizen. Too embarrased to "borrow" clothes off my friends at college because I was certain (wrongly as it turned out) that they would all be a size 10. I also tend to down grade the things I have achieved because I wasn't thin when I did them " That distinction I got would have been so much better if I'd been two dress sizes smaller at the time;" " That time I travelled in the far east, would have been so much more interesting if I had been wearing a smaller bikini."

I'm taking the trouble to write this down so that I can see for myself how much bollocks it truly is. And even now I'm not sure I'm convincing myself. You see this blog would be so much better if only I was writing it wearing size 8 jeans.