Working Day

My morning walk is normally very beautiful, as you can see, it was lovely this morning just pouring with rain - freezing cold and sideways!

But it is part of the utter luxury of homeworking - that the day goes;

8am - School Run and dog walking.

9am - At desk starting work.

3.30pm - Finish work and go to the Gym

I want toys too!

At my sister's party on Saturday her friend was complaining about her homeworking husband. It seemed most unfair to me but the essence of her complaint seemed to be that he wandered around the house, doing the house work whilst doing mega deals on a blue tooth headset!

He makes money and makes the bed! - how cool is that guy, I mean really! He also cooks.

His wife has clearly twigged that the whole female population would like one of those and has moved him out of London and away into the wilds quick smartish.

What I really want however is a blue tooth headset for the office phone and Outlook for the lap top so that I can work in the garden in the summer as I'm pretty sure the wi-fi hub goes that far. Watch this space for further improvements to this girl's life of Riley.

And woot - I have new clients....

Bless My Cotton Socks I'm in the News

Along with the rest of the free world I'm glued to Ashes to Ashes. I know it's not as good as Life on Mars, but I didn't actually watch life on Mars because I find John Sim hugely irritating - not his fault, just his face.

But back to Ashes, I'm as sure as I can be that I didn't spend 1981 wandering around with one bra strap hanging out. And cowboy boots...........wasn't it pixie boots? I distinctly remember many pairs of suede pixie boots being in evidence. And yes to skinny jeans, but no to the leather jacket -it was all fake fur round our way, but maybe that was because it was Scotland and the coldest winter on record even the toilet froze up that year. But sadly the dodgy eyeshadow is spot on.

In 1981 my very rich flat mate drove one of these babies, a black Golf Gti, which we all thought was the coolest form of transportation known to man.

I've just been to a marvelous party!

Honestly - what an old bag! So full of flu self pity I forgot to tell you about the parentals Golden Wedding Anniversary party.

It was fabulous. We knew it had begun well when mother phoned the night before; "Sorry darling, can't really talk, 15 of us are going out to dinner!"

We had arranged a lunch party for 50 people at a really nice country house hotel that a friend of ours owns in Shropshire. He did a stunning job, because we had chosen a Friday we had the place to ourselves, with lots of champagne and lovely food. The top table comprised the original top table from 50 years ago, only my uncle ( who was Dad's best man) was missing, poor love died four years ago. But his wife was there and one of the bridesmaids had made the trip from Western Australia.

We had an outstanding "house band" for the day - we couldn't have afforded them normally, but because the sax player is our friend's , husband's brother (yes I know it gets complicated) we got West End jazz musicians at mate rate. They played anything anyone wanted without missing a beat - and get special bonus points for the "South Pacific Medley", South Pacific being the film Dad took Mum to on their first date...sweet!

The Speech wot I wrote went OK.

And the handmade chocolate truffles (made by my cousin with the chocolate factory and normally sold at Fortnum and Mason) went down even better.

Everybody seemed to have a blast - the adults could talk all night (and did) and the kids could run around the garden and climb trees with all the cousins they only see from time to time.

And sis and me were quietly chuffed that we'd organised something that went so well.

THANK YOU NOBODY GIRL

Big thank you NG - I now have a room for next week at the Fox. It sounds divine, and I'll let you know how it works out.

Sorry for the very public thanks but I can't get your email to work or read your blog so this is the best I could do.

Ta a million once again for being such a sweetheart

L xx

Fluey Thursday

Still got flu, if it doesn't miraculously dissapear by tomorrow I am going to miss;

1. TB's work's party - they work on shifts all through Christmas so have a late, late do now. And because it's so late and no one is bored of parties it's usually good fun.

2. My sister's party on Sat, she's 40 but because she is a leap year baby, it's only her 10th REAL birthday - so it has to be a BIG deal.

The dog is sulking at me because he hasn't had a walk in two days (he normally gets a couple of miles a morning between school drop off and starting work, it's such a nice start to the day) and the horse is sulking on radar ( and via the AB) because she is being ridden by someone who makes her do as she is told and doesn't give out undeserved polo mints.

And this flu virus is horrible - its as if it finds every weak spot and every sore joint and aching muscle you've ever had in your life, it gets into them and makes them throb all at once. VILE.

The World is Against ME!

Honestly it is, let's review the evidence;

1, I have the flu, proper boiling hot to freezing cold with bone breaking aches flu - even the Doc says it's flu!

2. I still don't have a VAT number 6 months after applying for one - what is the Revenue playing at? Am terrified this will in some way turn out to be MY FAULT and cost money!!

3. The Hoxton has declined to extend my corporate account because I only stay there 2 days/month - bastards! And after I stayed LOADS when they were starting out. Can't even find me a room for next Wednesday night. This feels a lot like one of your mates who you really like turning round and saying "I don't want to be your friend any more" - very playground and five years old and it still stings!

4. Work still slow. Good job at moment - see point 1.

Nothing to tell...

There is nothing interesting to tell just know. Same old, same old. Losing weight is a long, slow process - I've lost 6lbs in the same time everyone else has lost a stone and a half, and boy is it disheartening.

Family party tomorrow - speech to give, may yet throw up and interesting and well written blog post...stranger things have happened.

Clean Living

It's true, I lead a blameless life in the country. I ride my horse, walk my dog and do my work. My house is very clean and shiny and so am I. I don't smoke, I don't do drugs and as of Ash Wednesday I DON'T DRINK..............this is true, in a shocking development chez Lippy I have given up the booze for Lent.

Now to get my kicks I either have to jump over very high fences or go to the gym and knacker myself out, or have sex with the TB of course, (haven't given that up for Lent.)

Talking of high fences, a horse at the point to point, threw it's rider, left the rest of the field and promptly jumped over a huge fence and on to the road. It broke it's leg on impact, the hobbled three legged to the forecourt of the petrol station. When it arrived it shook off the shattered broken half of it's foreleg leaving a bleeding stump. Fortunatley the vet arrived at that point and shot it, creating much trauma amongst the assembled townies topping up their cars for a nice drive out in the country. And the moral of this story...the person who told you that horses have an inate sense of self preservation was lying. People do, horses don't.

Anyway - the point of this post was to say that after Easter I am clearly going to head down to the Smoke, install myself in the nearest divey bar and make up for lost time. I just need to assemble a few co-conspirators for the occasion.

Hard Lesson

I know I spend to much time on the gossip pages, but don't deny a girl simple pleasures. Anyway, whilst perusing the same, I see that Lily Allen's boyfriend one Ed Simons has now dumped her.

But then, Lily love, if he's 38 , not married and still looking to date 22 year old girls, then chances are he has the emotional range of a concrete slab and if you opened him up the words " I am a selfish cunt" would be running through his middle like "Blackpool" through a stick of rock.

Take your cue from brother Alfie who wants to smack Ed in the head, go for someone younger who will think you are amazing and have this bizarre disire to "take care of you." - it takes a bit of getting used to I'll admit but it's fun.

Families

Families, the TB's and mine, still cause endless rows, hilarity and our most rock solid "it's them or us" moments.

The TB's old man liked a drink, so much so that his liver packed in and he died aged 62.
So I do get a bit nervous when the old "corporate entertaining" round takes the TB out on the beer once to often;

me : "Don't drink too much beer will you. You can't take it."

(Now that was a red rag to a bull)

him: "Whaddya mean I can't take it"

me : "Well, (trying to backpedal and failing) it's a bit of a weakness in your genetic makeup"

him :"Still don't know whadya saying"

me : "Well, you know, your Dad, drink, bit of a problem"

him : "My Dad wasn't an alcoholic, he just liked the taste"

The TB's birthday

This year it's 20 years since the TB and me went on our first date...everyone say ahhh. And we went to Brown's restaurant in Cambridge for his 23rd birthday. Indeeed, he was but a boy when he got saddled with me the poor dear.

Anyway, co-incidentally having moved house we are now only about 20 miles from Cambridge and so I was thinking that I'd take him back there again.... only this time with an overnight stay at the rather fabulous Hotel Du Vin just up the road.

His usual complaint about being taken anywhere posh is that, "yes but if it's £200 a night I just won't enjoy it!" but now, I can pay it without him ever knowing because I can pay it with the corporate check and refund the business out of drawings. ...and I think I just shouldn't tell him.

It's a bit an expensive time for celebrations though, it's my parents golden wedding party next month ( which their kids are paying for obviously) lunch for 60 at a really nice country hotel, we fixed a fairly tight wine budget and anything over they can pay for themselves! - you know how these pensioners can drink. And the week after my sister's 40th....

So better do some work quick to pay for it all.

Sectioning Amy

Apparently Amy Winehouse's Dad has asked that she is compulsorily admitted to hospital under the mental health act because she is clearly "a danger to herself"

Unfortunatley for Dad Winehouse - in order to be "sectioned" you not only have to be a danger to yourself or to other people you also have to be suffering from a recognised mental illness. And poor old Amy is bad not mad.

Years ago I acted for a lady whose alcoholic husband would regularly drive his car through her front room window when pissed out of his mind. He was clearly a danger to loads of people. but as with Miss Winehouse bad and not mad, so all the police could do was arrest him every time and throw him into a cell to sober up.

There isn't any law - apart from affray and posession of narcotics that works in this situation. Should there be - should you be able to lock up a drunk or a drug addict just for being a drunk or a drug addict ?

I don't think so actually.

Mediation

The current thinking is that disputes should be resolved where possible by mediation rather than a court hearing. The process itself is a bit of shuttle diplomacy - parties in the same building, often in different rooms, but meeting up from time to time to air their views and a mediator being the UN and shuttling between the parties.

Even when it doesn't get all that far it's very revealing as to the parties motives and preconceptions. In one case that I had a while ago the other side clearly thought our chap had a porsche and a boat where in fact he has a push bike and a rubber band collection.....

If nothing else it's illustrative of the elusive nature of "truth" because all the time what someone else believes to be true is not what I beleive to be true, and we are only telling each other half truths anyway.

Poor girl

Oh poor Lily Allen, you think you are "safe" to tell people at 16 weeks, you really do and then..........as I recall it you are in the ultrasound suite, lots of excited couples having been pushed out of the way and the conversation goes like this

*long pause*

"I'm really sorry Mrs L, I can't find a heartbeat"

and you can't think of one single thing to say back except "it's all right" and it isn't.

And you then have this dreadful procedure to remove what they call "retained products of conception"...............yeah.

And it's really difficult when you have been together a few years - but in a beginning relationship I can't imagine how alone she must feel. Poor poor kid.

Crap day - no sunshine

It's one of those days when my only conversations have been along the line of;

"it's in the contract"

"haven't you read the manual"

"whoever did those land registry searches (me of course) is hopelessly incompetent."


and it's raining and I'm getting a migraine from looking at a computer screen so much and I'm going to have to pay someone else's costs of around £1000 - shit.

Stamina or lack thereof

Endurance exercise or endurance training consists of performing low- to medium-intensity exercise for long periods of time. E.g., jogging or running several miles to hundreds of miles; cycling dozens of miles to thousands of miles; swimming hundreds of yards or meters to dozens of miles or km.
Physical endurance is differentiated from other forms of physical stress in that in endurance exercise fatigue of the muscles and cardiovascular system do not force the effort to end. The need for sleep, the buildup of non-recyclable waste chemicals, the depletion of convertible energy stores and other needed chemicals (e.g., water, sodium), physical injury, psychological failure, or attainment of the goal will bring the effort to an end.

So says Wikipedia - but look at me, two hearings in a week, three days of working full on until 10 o'clock at night and I'm so knackered that I can't remember my own name, let alone everyone elses. Maybe if I could swim a mile I could work harder and more consistently without falling to bits - another suggestion is that I should just go to sleep for a bit.

Kingdom

Oh heavens, I hear you cry, not more inane whittering about Stephen Fry. But we have to talk about Kingdom gentle readers, for you are not going to find a more intelligent, learned and kindly East Anglian solicitor outside the pages of this blog.

Although I must say his case load is very boring, and on the fees he is earning from advising the WI on buying a light house he isn't going to be able to afford to run a Bentley convertable for very much longer now is he?

But it is mental cocoa for a Sunday night and it does speed along the ironing in a helpful manner - for which , Mr Kingdom, I thank you. I am however hopeful that now your wicked, swindling brother has returned from the dead things might get a lot more interesting. And I'm also hoping that , in the interests of artistic verisimilitude naturally - that given the swindling brothers antics your practice is subject to the intervention of the Law Society and that darling Simon is struck off the register!

Old Vic Panto

I went with the fam to the matinee performance of the Old Vic's rendition of "Cinderella" yesterday.......and our reaction to this latest incarnation of the genuis that is Stephen Fry was a hearty, "hmmmmm".

Whilst I was delighted that the obvious love between Buttons and Dandini finally dared to speak it's name, the rest of the show couldn't decide whether it was a kid's panto, post modern ironic adult pastiche of a kids panto, an old style bawdy panto, or a highly intellingent panto for an audience of regular theatre goers - so in the end it was a bit of all those things and not really a good enough version of any of them.

Sandi Tosveig playing Stephen Fry (well, the narrator was clearly the man in himself) made a passable drag king - but was at her best and funniest when adlibbing her own lines. Pauline Collins I loved as the fairy godmother but no one else did. And what was the cake fetish all about?

Oh well, lots of work to do and no more outings for me in the near future...ho hum.

Time Flies when you Are Having Fun!

This time of year all the magazines are full of ideas on how much better your life would be if you "just put aside an extra half an hour a day!" to do whatever it is they suggest. So I thought I'd have a bit of a tot up and see how much time a perfect life actually takes;

Half an hour to cook a nutritious meal for the family ( x 3 ) - 1 hr 30 mins
An hours exercise a day to stay healthy - 1 hr
30 minutes "me time" for those little grooming jobs (nails/eyebrows etc) - 30 mins
Ideal amount of sleep - 7 hrs
If you do an hour and a half housework every day you'll stay on top of it - 1hr 30 mins

(some of this is suggested management time for a law practice)
Chargable hours per day target - 7 hrs
Suggested budget for marketing hours per day for a new practice - 2hrs
Keeping on top of the accounts - 30 mins

That's 21 hours a day, and I haven't had a shower, or driven to the gym or eaten anything myself yet! Nor does it allow for going to the post office or the shops or saying hello to anyone!

No wonder I feel as if I am permanently behind - thank goodness I don't have to commute!